There is this hospitality trait among Iranians which is basically the practice of excessive etiquettes in different situations or refusing being paid for their service. They may say that you can have something, say their product, for free or be their guest this one time. Remember that they may be so kind or even mean it sometimes but mostly they are just trying to be polite. A little bit confused? Well, you should be. But NO worries. In case they offer anything for free to you, try two or three times to insist on paying, hopefully, you get the chance to pay and pass the Ta’arof process but if they still insist on excluding you from paying, you might as well express your gratitude and take it for free (if it’s a small thing and doesn’t cost much) .
In international politeness studies were debates about Iran with a focus on ta’arof, which was typically defined as “Iranian politeness” and described by common phrases. This section tries to present a different view by taking into account that in Iran people differentiate between Adab and Ta’arof. Since there is no definite way to define ta’arof by speech acts, a more structural way to define ta’arof is presented here. Therefore, ta’arof is a constant social discourse between the involved persons and is a tool to regulate social relations, rather being a concrete action. The article starts with a discussion about different concepts of politeness and then introduces shortly to a politeness theory by Watts, which is considering regional differences and global similarities. Then, the article discusses some historical and contemporary questions and topics related to politeness, which could contribute to a better and more comprehensive understanding of politeness and ta’arof. An important step for future studies about this field is a distinction between the explained and the real structure of ta’arof, because the explained structure is always a coherent narrative of one’s actions.
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